WEEK 5. FROM TOPS TO....MORE TOPS

Last week, when I packed up my discarded shoes to take to a charitable thrift store, I felt better. In the guest closet I found a sack of shoes I had discarded before I started Kondo's tidying-up process but hadn't give away yet. So I did discard more than two pairs of shoes. Hooray for me. But now I had to start on clothes, I'd put it off long enough and I would start at the top.

As I faced them I decided to just do indoor tops first. Outer wear like jackets and sweaters would have to go into a subcategory, later. I know, I know. Another deviation from the proposed method. But it was too overwhelming to have to consider everything in one day. I know I'm already going to have a problem because I may have to keep some things that are not joyful, but are necessary. 

I piled all my tops, blouses, shirts on my guest room bed. Frankly, I was embarrassed as I kept piling up more and more, from dresser drawers and closet shelves and hangers. I who so often said I have nothing to wear, actually had more than 100 tops, exactly 119, which included fifty-seven T shirts. It is very hard for me to discard anything and some of these items were pretty old. But guided by the Kondo method I managed to eliminate forty-nine of the 119 tops, or about 41%.

Here are some of the gruesome statistics on how much I kept.

57 T shirts, kept 34 including 3 collared polo shirts, about 60%

21 Tank tops, sleeveless shirts, kept 15, 71%

15 sleeved blouses, kept 6, about 40%

26 long sleeved shirts/blouse, kept 15, 58%.

I admired the pile of discarded clothes that hopefully someone else would be able to use. And I admired the empty spaces in my closet. The day had gone well. I folded the kept T shirts according to Marie Kondo's method and put them, sorted by color, in shoe boxes on the closet shelves where I used to stack them. As she directs in the book, I hung my tops in a rising, long to short, dark to light order, within each category, long sleeved shirts, short sleeved, sleeveless. I sighed as I look at this neatly filled space. How long I wondered will they stay that neat? Hmmm.

The next morning I started on my other sub category—jackets and sweaters.  I live in the California desert so I don't have much cold weather wear. My only coat is an avocado green trench coat which I've had for more than twenty years and still love. It brings back memories of when I wanted to be a foreign correspondent. It has a liner so can be worn if I ever go anywhere that's actually cold. Cold to my desert thinned blood is under sixty degrees.

The first item I pulled from the new pile of clothing was a surprise--a white silk, mandarin style jacket, heavily embroidered with colorful designs. I thought I'd get rid of cause I hardly wear it, but I felt joyful when I held it. So I kept it and this winter I'll make an effort to wear it more often.

In the pockets of a hot pink, puffy, winter jacket I found a pair of black leather gloves I thought I'd lost.  I never wear the jacket but keep it for Chicago's 'snow' country.  I put the black gloves in an 'accessory' drawer where I can keep an eye on them.

I had eighteen outerwear items and kept fourteen, a keep rate of 78%.  I discarded only 22%-- not very good. But maybe I'm better at choosing outer wear than other articles of clothing.

I started on the sweaters.  It was ninety degrees outside, supposed to go to 109 degrees and I was holding wool sweaters in my hands. Of course, none of them brought me joy right then, but I had to think of the future.

My first discards were two of my mother's cardigans. She's been a saint in heaven for ten years and I've worn them occasionally to feel close to her. Now I could let them go and hope they bring joy to someone else.

For more than twenty years, I have loved a charming white sweater with pastel embroidered flowers but I had to admit it's too small to ever wear again.

When done I had discarded nine (four pull overs, five cardigans) and  kept twenty-four (seven pull overs, seventeen cardigans)

Score: discard 27%, kept 73%, again not too good.

Marie says her clients give away an average of one half (50%) to three fourths (75%) of their clothes, so far I'm averaging 27%, 22%, 41%. I have not even made her clients' lowest average of 50%.

Well, I still have skirts, slacks, dresses, two piece outfits to go.  And that's just the rest of the clothes category.

WEEK 4. A Sea of Shoes

Well, I did something that might seem to be against all the other non-cluttering methods but I hope it will be the start of my 'new life'. I was in Walmart to buy some essentials when I noticed a beach towel sale and one towel called my name. Looking at it I was filled with happiness. It was in pink, yellow and green, with drawings of pineapples and other fun stuff. My beach towels have always been scruffy, worn objects, because they get rough use from sand, cement and chlorine. But now I look at this towel and hope it is the first of choosing objects for joy rather than for utility. And the price of all this happiness—nine dollars.

A very happy beach towel

As I said last week, I also had to go through the difficult process of finding a new bathing suit. And I did. I didn't get a spark of joy when I touched it, but at least I didn't scowl at myself in the mirror when I tried it on. I think I'd have to lose a number of pounds and a number of years before a bathing suit could bring a spark of joy.

But back from the beach, I'm on to the next step in my magic tidying-up—shoes! I have trouble finding shoes that fit, so I feel I don't have very many. But they do take up a lot of space. Maybe I have more than I think.

I called all the shoes to a meeting on the floor and sat surrounded by a sea of shoes looking to me for guidance. Well, I counted them. I have thirty-eight pairs of shoes and after careful consideration and looking for sparks of joy I am getting rid of only two pairs. I now understand why Marie says its best to get rid of clothes first. I have three pairs of navy and two pairs of grey shoes--colors I rarely wear, but as long as I have clothes in those colors I can't get rid of the 'go with' shoes. Hmm. Her method is beginning to make more sense.

Only two pairs discarded.  What am I
doing wrong?

I did get rid of a pair of very dark green suede which I like but when I wear them everyone thinks they're black, so there's no point in giving them space. I need green shoes that look green. The other pair, a very comfortable black Cole Hahn loafers, were completely worn and scuffed. They did not spark joy. I needed to let them go. But I feel I need green shoes and black loafers so eventually I'll have to replace them.

I'm trying not to buy new until I am through with my complete tidying up process. (I really needed a new bathing suit and the towel was pure joy, so they don't count.)

How many are too many?

Right before I read the book, I did buy new shoes--blue Keds with pink roses (I'm a sucker for pink), and multicolored, thin strappy sandals. I bought the sandals as I knew an older, similar pair were about to give up their elastic and I wanted to be prepared and they were on sale. A third pair was a more attractive replacement for some old, thick, ugly brown sandals, with cracked soles, but were so comfortable I hated to throw them away. They are now gone forever. This took place before the tidying-up started.

A side benefit to working on my shoes was cleaning out about fifty plastic sacks that were stuck in around the shoe boxes I kept on a closet shelf. I don't know why the sacks were there. I guess I just clutter for no good reason. 

I am keeping the empty shoe boxes for the time being because as Marie says, they're good for organizing drawers. And I can see my neatly folded T shirts fitting in them.

Unfortunately, since I tidied out of order, I will probably have to redo my shoes once I have finished with all my clothes. Next week I will start with tops.   

At the right are my double hung shoe holders.  And I also have a six foot shelf of shoes.  Obviously, I need to do better.  I would really appreciate knowing how many pairs of shoes you have.  How many are too many?

Week 3. I Subvert the Order

Last week I wanted to start with Kondo's first category for choosing joy, clothes. She suggests this order: Tops, bottoms, hung items, socks, underwear, handbags, accessories (scarves, belts), special activities (swim, yoga), shoes. We're all used to going through our clothes and discarding items that no longer work--the washing machine shrunk them. So this should be the easiest category. I agree but already I plan to subvert her order. I was going away (yeah, again) for a few days, but I wanted to get started on the project. And the quickest items for me to work with would be handbags/purses.

According to my friends, I don't have many of these. They have lots more. I have a strange phobia about handbags. I don't understand why they have to be so big and heavy (and in some cases, extremely expensive). Men don't carry such hindrances. Why do women? I also feel the same way about high heeled shoes, but that can wait until I work on the shoe category. I was eager to get started on my 'slightly modified' Kondo method, and went off to gather purses from all the places I stashed them. I decided that tote bags would have to wait for their own sorting on the next day. I had too many of them.

Purses I discarded

I threw clutches, evening bags, handbags, purses, shoulder bags on a guest room bed. I couldn't really see searching on the floor as she suggests for those that gave off a spark of joy.

This category was easy. It didn't take long to separate out the joyful ones. However, some of those that still gave me joy were too worn to be useful. I'd recently finished a book on French chic and no French woman would have wanted to even be buried with the weary ones I'd been carrying.

I chose to keep thirteen of twenty seven—keeping just under fifty percent which sounded pretty good to me. However, they included two small black, clutch bags that were chosen not so much for joy as because they were neutral and useful. Two was excessive but I felt I needed to use them again to see which I prefer. I also kept two Coach leather shoulder bags, one navy and one brown. They don't fill me with joy either, but are serviceable for business type meetings. Perhaps I should give them away.  I wonder if it's OK to make these decisions later if you're not sure. Although I suppose not sure means 'no joy.'

I also kept two black cloth, over the shoulder bags with many compartments for overseas travel.  They probably should go too. But they are serviceable.

It seems I've been buying purses to serve a purpose or to be a certain color or style. Not because the object makes me happy. Hmm. I'll have to remember that insight the next time I go shopping. Search for joy not just usefulness.

But I did have some 'happy' bags: a glitzy sky blue with sequins and crystal beads sort of vintage looking, another that had been a gift—a small clutch covered in deep pink silk rosettes—and a perky black and white with a white bow on its side, another gift. They make me feel French chic when I use them. I also saved a red leather wallet and a very soft brown leather long wallet. Never used but I like them and so kept them. Is that crazy?

Purses I kept

Of the thirteen bags I saved, six were either all pink or with a pink pattern. I have to admit I do like pink.

Although Kondo says not to worry about storing items, I did want to put away those I kept before I started another category. I hung the ones with handles from a closet rod which I can lift and slide them off of. Actually, it's on my husband's side of the closet and hangs over his shoes on the floor.  The floppy ones, not so many now, I stored in a shelf in a small shoe box.

The next day I worked on tote bags. Well, that doesn't sound too difficult. How many can you have? Maybe more than the spots on a Dalmatian, because when I earned a salary, I went to lots of conventions and attendees always got a bag to carry all their agendas and papers in. The most prestigious I received was a Hugo Boss leather briefcase. This was given out at an international symposium on 'Cancer in Underserved Countries' held in Entebbe, Uganda. When it was handed to me, I felt a slight disconnect with the purpose of the meeting, helping poor nations deal with cancer. 

I shook my head at the memory as I handled the totes searching for a spark of joy. I went through several different kinds, about thirty all together. I got joy from two, one a green from Harrods British department store my daughter gave me. It's very attractive and I like it. Another definite keeper was also a gift, from a friend, which I use for book club meetings. It's purple with several outside compartments and sporting a Thomas Jefferson quotation which is one of my life mottoes. “I can not live without books.” This is so true and why I dread reaching the difficult category of books.

I also kept three smaller totes, a yellow and white vinyl that I like because it's cheerful, and a beige with pink Hawaiian flowers on it. I wear a lot of pink so it also sparked joy. The third is also beige with a picture of our first grandchild from his nursery school. I never use it, but I can't discard it, not yet anyway. Maybe when I get to the memento category I'll have more will power. Kondo says that's why she puts mementos last—to give you time to practice discarding less emotional items.

Since our local stores no longer provide plastic bags, I also put six (!) cloth totes in the car trunk in case I need them for groceries. They don't give me joy, but they are a need. And I saved two sturdy zipper totes with outside pockets as 'travel' bags. Again, no joy but I may need them. Altogether I kept thirteen of the thirty. A discard rate of fifty-seven percent. I congratulated myself since most of the totes hadn't been used in ten years.

My decluttering project will be put on hold while I go to the beach for a few days. It sounds like wonderful R&R, but first I need to shop for a new bathing suit. Arrgh. I wonder if Kondo's book will help me with that project.

Week 2. "The Moment You Start You Restart Your Life"

This quote from Marie Kondo reminds me of the Chinese (not Japanese!) proverb “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” My first step was to read her book on my phone. But my second step faltered. Home from my two thousand mile journey, Chicago to California, I forgot my plan to greet my house and offer gratitude. I was too busy and tired lugging in luggage and unpacking. At night in bed, expressing thanks for the blessing of air conditioning in my desert house, I remembered Kondo's suggestion and silently listed all the things in the house that made me happy. A nice way to fall asleep, even though my bed was surrounded by piles of stuff I hadn't put away yet.

The next morning after starting laundry I ordered a hard back copy of the book. The e-book I read on my phone provided the plan but I needed to underline and make notes as ideas struck me. I wouldn't get the hard cover for another week, but I still had lots to do just to get ready to start this promised 'life changing' process.

Kondo stresses that the true goal is not to have a clutter free living space. It should be to establish the lifestyle you want most once your house has been put in order. She tells her clients to visualize the desired destination before they start the decluttering process. I ask myself what do I want? Of course I want to be able to find things I constantly lose--to fulfill that old cliché of a place for everything and everything in its place. I also want to have easy access to the things that do 'bring a spark of joy' to me. Many of these things have been hidden away by the need to have more useful items easily accessible. I don't really expect to have my life changed by being clutter free, but I can see that I might have a lot more pleasure by focusing on joy filled objects.

For example, why do I have old, stained, mismatched white, thrift shop bowls in my kitchen cupboards instead of the beautiful, ceramic vegetable rimmed platter from Italy that I love? My joy is packed away in a closet. Obviously, my priorities need to be changed.

The Japanese organizer believes effective tidying involves only two essential actions: discarding and deciding where to store things. Of the two, discarding must come first. If I keep only what I love, and discard the rest, I will have room to keep joyful items accessible.

She cautions that you should not even think of putting your things away until you have finished the process of discarding. I'm not sure what she means by “finished the process of discarding,” but I do know that I can't wait until I've done the whole house. As she has set up a category list for discarding, I will put away as I finish a category, or even a subcategory. Otherwise, I'll be living in piles of non-discarded items.

As I look around I think I'm headed for failure in the tidying up project. I have several, well maybe twenty books on organizing and improving my life, and if you look at my personal areas, I have failed in those attempts. I do keep the social areas, living room, dining room, and guest bathroom in good order. At least in sight. What's in the drawers and behind cupboard doors are a different matter. I desperately need to simplify.

What's really sad about my attempts is that when we moved from the Midwest to the southern California desert, I swore all I needed was a bed, a table, a comfortable chair and a lamp. And my books, and of course my saved magazines. One of my confessions is that I moved fifteen years of what used to be my favorite magazine, Traditional Home, across the country and which are still saved in cupboards. Would I be able to get rid of them? Certainly they didn't still cause a spark of joy?

Ms. Kondo says we should only keep those things that bring a spark of joy when we touch them. I like things. I like a lot of things. I'm afraid too many things will bring me that spark when I touch them. I like the photos and prints and paintings that hang on my walls, and it will be hard to remove them. Perhaps I can keep that category out of my project. Oh dear, I better not change the process before I even begin. So here goes.

Her plan insists that the tidying up process follow a strict order which she has found for various reasons to be the most effective.

First, clothes. No problem, it will be a joy to get rid of clothes, especially those I hate and that make me 'look fat'.

Then, books. Oh, my what will I do? I have eight tall bookcases filled with lovely books.

Third, are papers—again, I look forward to that. As a writer I'm surrounded by old manuscripts.

Fourth, miscellaneous. I can't wait to get rid of stuff I don't like so I can actually find and use the stuff I love.

Last are mementos—those are last because she expects her clients to have difficulty with those and by the time you reach them you will be trained in discarding non joyful objects.

If all goes well, in next week's blog I will describe how I discarded items in the first category, clothes, with joy. And how I restarted my life.