Week 3. I Subvert the Order

Last week I wanted to start with Kondo's first category for choosing joy, clothes. She suggests this order: Tops, bottoms, hung items, socks, underwear, handbags, accessories (scarves, belts), special activities (swim, yoga), shoes. We're all used to going through our clothes and discarding items that no longer work--the washing machine shrunk them. So this should be the easiest category. I agree but already I plan to subvert her order. I was going away (yeah, again) for a few days, but I wanted to get started on the project. And the quickest items for me to work with would be handbags/purses.

According to my friends, I don't have many of these. They have lots more. I have a strange phobia about handbags. I don't understand why they have to be so big and heavy (and in some cases, extremely expensive). Men don't carry such hindrances. Why do women? I also feel the same way about high heeled shoes, but that can wait until I work on the shoe category. I was eager to get started on my 'slightly modified' Kondo method, and went off to gather purses from all the places I stashed them. I decided that tote bags would have to wait for their own sorting on the next day. I had too many of them.

Purses I discarded

I threw clutches, evening bags, handbags, purses, shoulder bags on a guest room bed. I couldn't really see searching on the floor as she suggests for those that gave off a spark of joy.

This category was easy. It didn't take long to separate out the joyful ones. However, some of those that still gave me joy were too worn to be useful. I'd recently finished a book on French chic and no French woman would have wanted to even be buried with the weary ones I'd been carrying.

I chose to keep thirteen of twenty seven—keeping just under fifty percent which sounded pretty good to me. However, they included two small black, clutch bags that were chosen not so much for joy as because they were neutral and useful. Two was excessive but I felt I needed to use them again to see which I prefer. I also kept two Coach leather shoulder bags, one navy and one brown. They don't fill me with joy either, but are serviceable for business type meetings. Perhaps I should give them away.  I wonder if it's OK to make these decisions later if you're not sure. Although I suppose not sure means 'no joy.'

I also kept two black cloth, over the shoulder bags with many compartments for overseas travel.  They probably should go too. But they are serviceable.

It seems I've been buying purses to serve a purpose or to be a certain color or style. Not because the object makes me happy. Hmm. I'll have to remember that insight the next time I go shopping. Search for joy not just usefulness.

But I did have some 'happy' bags: a glitzy sky blue with sequins and crystal beads sort of vintage looking, another that had been a gift—a small clutch covered in deep pink silk rosettes—and a perky black and white with a white bow on its side, another gift. They make me feel French chic when I use them. I also saved a red leather wallet and a very soft brown leather long wallet. Never used but I like them and so kept them. Is that crazy?

Purses I kept

Of the thirteen bags I saved, six were either all pink or with a pink pattern. I have to admit I do like pink.

Although Kondo says not to worry about storing items, I did want to put away those I kept before I started another category. I hung the ones with handles from a closet rod which I can lift and slide them off of. Actually, it's on my husband's side of the closet and hangs over his shoes on the floor.  The floppy ones, not so many now, I stored in a shelf in a small shoe box.

The next day I worked on tote bags. Well, that doesn't sound too difficult. How many can you have? Maybe more than the spots on a Dalmatian, because when I earned a salary, I went to lots of conventions and attendees always got a bag to carry all their agendas and papers in. The most prestigious I received was a Hugo Boss leather briefcase. This was given out at an international symposium on 'Cancer in Underserved Countries' held in Entebbe, Uganda. When it was handed to me, I felt a slight disconnect with the purpose of the meeting, helping poor nations deal with cancer. 

I shook my head at the memory as I handled the totes searching for a spark of joy. I went through several different kinds, about thirty all together. I got joy from two, one a green from Harrods British department store my daughter gave me. It's very attractive and I like it. Another definite keeper was also a gift, from a friend, which I use for book club meetings. It's purple with several outside compartments and sporting a Thomas Jefferson quotation which is one of my life mottoes. “I can not live without books.” This is so true and why I dread reaching the difficult category of books.

I also kept three smaller totes, a yellow and white vinyl that I like because it's cheerful, and a beige with pink Hawaiian flowers on it. I wear a lot of pink so it also sparked joy. The third is also beige with a picture of our first grandchild from his nursery school. I never use it, but I can't discard it, not yet anyway. Maybe when I get to the memento category I'll have more will power. Kondo says that's why she puts mementos last—to give you time to practice discarding less emotional items.

Since our local stores no longer provide plastic bags, I also put six (!) cloth totes in the car trunk in case I need them for groceries. They don't give me joy, but they are a need. And I saved two sturdy zipper totes with outside pockets as 'travel' bags. Again, no joy but I may need them. Altogether I kept thirteen of the thirty. A discard rate of fifty-seven percent. I congratulated myself since most of the totes hadn't been used in ten years.

My decluttering project will be put on hold while I go to the beach for a few days. It sounds like wonderful R&R, but first I need to shop for a new bathing suit. Arrgh. I wonder if Kondo's book will help me with that project.

Day 1. I Discover the "Method"

I'm a messy person. I start the day looking for my glasses, my phone, my keys. In addition to the inconvenience of always losing items, I shudder when I think of how much time I've lost looking for things when I could be doing something more productive, or even fun. And I know, I know, if I returned objects to their 'special places' I wouldn't lose them. But I did not, maybe could not, follow that simple solution. However, browsing the internet one day I thought maybe I'd found an answer to why I didn't clean up my life. My key tapping fingers discovered the highly praised and best selling book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing,” by Marie Kondo.

As a researcher type person, I was skeptical of all the hype and looked at as many excerpts and reviews on line that I could find. They convinced me I should at least read the book and soon. But I was a thousand miles and a few weeks from home so I did something I'd never done before. I was so eager to change my life or at least declutter it, I didn't want to wait until I got back to get a hard copy of it. Curiosity won over my preference for holding an actual book in my hands as I read. I downloaded the Kindle app to my cell phone and bought the e-book version. Wow, I thought, I've already started changing my life.

It was so engaging, I was hooked. I whipped out my phone and read a few pages whenever I had the time. Of course, I'm a self improvement junkie. I already had several book shelves filled with books on the subject, from the grandfather of them all, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, to the more recent At Home with Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott, Shelter for the Spirit by Victoria Moran, and Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen. As you can see, I'm an equal opportunity reader. If it promises a better life, I read it. A few of these books are pictured here with pride of place the Kondo book.

Marie Kondo not only sounds like a great tidier, she also sounds like a very good psychologist. And she promises her method of tidying-up which had changed her clients' lives, would do the same for anyone who followed it. Boy, I couldn't wait to finish reading it, get home and start working on this new project. I have a good life, but I'm American and I always want more and better, right? And really, I'd just like to always know the location of my glasses, phone, and keys.

I could understand why those who read it were enthused. Of course, every self help book comes with an enthusiastic audience. The few negative reviews were from readers who didn't like the idea of thanking your possessions and the place where you lived. Being concrete realists they knew these objects had no feelings and could not respond to anything their owner said. However, even if you don't believe that, think of the effect on yourself when you give thanks. In fact, that is the premise of Simple Abundance by Gretchen Rubin. Being grateful changes you and your feelings about what is in your life. I decided Marie Kondo was a special person, and I should listen to her.

Her examples and her philosophy seemed reasonable to me, and certainly worth trying out. I thought of some beautiful serving bowls and platters that I never used because they were too hard to get out. Maybe because my kitchen cupboards were cluttered with thrift store, ugly thick bowls. I felt they were good enough for every day, while my 'good' stuff was stored away. I had as a goal, not to change my life, although that might be nice, but to just be able to find and use my 'joyful' objects.

I could hardly wait to get home and to start on my clothes—the category she stresses should be first. However, I already had caveats for her method. I didn't see myself throwing all my clothes (from three closets—regular clothes, dressy clothes, and outer wear—and dresser drawers) in a pile on the floor and going through them one at a time. I thought I would have to fudge on that one. And books. I have books throughout my house, in every room. Was I really going to have to pile them up before I could go through them?

I decided the best way to determine if her method worked for me was to record what I did, and to describe if I deviated from her method, and what happened next. Would my use of her method really be life changing?

Driving home cross country, I pictured silently greeting my home when I walked into it and telling it how grateful I am for its service to me and how joyful I am to live in it. Let's see how that works out.

Next Tuesday I'll report on my attack plan for dealing with the Kondo Method.